Author's Note: Something I wrote when I was in a pensive mood.
Warning: Very mild emotional content
I wish someone had once told me about love.
~ x ~
As a child I believed in princes, princesses and a happily ever after. At about my fifteenth birthday the prince modified itself into that one handsome actor, but the principle remained the same. We would make each other happy and then one day, exhausted from all the prosperity, we would hold hands and blissfully and simultaneously lay our heads to rest.
Now that I'm in my early twenties I often feel deeply lonely and misunderstood, and secretly hope that I bump into a soulmate who will save me from these negative sentiments. Although I do realize that a good relationship with yourself is the condition for a good relationship with another. And while I'm frantically trying to like -let alone love- myself, I would still prefer to be saved.
A few days ago I became aware of my fear of commitment. I fancy only unattainable men, men who would not even look at me twice or men who would never single me out in a mass of women. I realize now that this is caused by my own fear of letting someone into my life. Someone who would want to peal of my protective layers one by one and see the real creature that resides inside of me.
But as long as they remain inaccessible, confrontation remains nonexistent. And so I continue to glorify love, I continue to idealize men and I keep my own weaknesses and fragility hidden under a blanket of delusion.
This is the first time I write a Critique, so I hope I'm doing it right!
Seeing as it is a written artwork, I could not really give you many stars for the 'Vision' part; but I still gave you 3.5/5 because I find you put a lot of work in making your proze (and other writings) look nice. With the little dotted lines and the swirly crosses to indicate the beginning or the end of a paragraph.
'Originality' got 4/5 because I really think writing about something like this is actually original but I think that you speak for a lot more people then just yourself. Even I feel somewhat related to these words; so in that sence it might be less of a 'oh-my-god-I-never-thought-of-that'-feeling. But still I've never read anything like this before here on DA, so you might be one of the first to put this out there.
With 'Technique', I looked at your way with words and for that you get 4.5/5 from me. I love how you've described this. It has a real story-feel to it and yet it is also compact and to the point. Not too much dilly-dally with big words and complecated adverbs. I especially love the beginning and ending paragraph. It's written so vividly that you can actually see it before your eyes, in a way, I cannot really describe it properly, but I hope you know what I mean.
And last but not least is the 'Impact' of this work of proze. For that I also gave you 4.5/5 because I think you speak to the heart and soul of many others around you. It feels really relatable and I think every girl or boy has once felt like they would never find someone special enough to share their lives with, or still yearn for that fairy tale feeling of love. I know I do.
All in all, for a first work of proze, seeing as you are more comfortable with fanfictions and the like, I think this was a very good first attempt. And maybe your words may open the eyes of those who will read it and maybe change their way of thinking to achieve their own happiness. ^^
Thanks a lot for putting your time in that! And yes, it was very interesting to read. It helps to see what others see when they read this. And I agree with most that you said, so I thank you again for it!